I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
