Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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