Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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