I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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