you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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