Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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