final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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