So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
