And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
