just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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