I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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