How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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