okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so much tequila, so little girl.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
