was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
