one might say we're banned from that church
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Green mimosas i think yes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
