I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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