just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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