I need help removing her.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
