also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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