He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
