eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
