a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize