THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
