I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
