I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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