well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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