Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
