grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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