let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
