lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
