remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
only you would photoshop your dick
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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