whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
