u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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