Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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