Jerry, you need to find god
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
