Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
