their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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