just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
