I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
