you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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