I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
