I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
