if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
