Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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