Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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