he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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