Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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