On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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