some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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