we made out on top of his cat.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
