Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize