What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.