I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.