why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The adults are the big ones right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
