If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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