I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
