Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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