I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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