the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
