Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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