K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
