they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
